Luke's Western Room

So it's been awhile but the creative juices are flowing once again! I'm not sure why I ever chose to do an airplane theme for the nursery when I clearly have more ideas (and the desire) for decorating "cowboy" style! So now that my little Kidney Bean is 1 year old, he's finally getting his nursery done! Better late than never, I guess!

Here are some of the ideas I've been working on. I don't think I spent more than $5 on any of them which my hubby really appreciates!

My test run on the stencil I made from a photo I found online. Enlarged the photo to 8x10 size, printed, traced on top of clear scrapbook page covers, cut out, and voila! Tomorrow I will hopefully stencil this around the wall of his room! Yeehaw!

Frame from the dollar store, painted red, cut out pictures from calendar(also dollar store) and glued rope onto each side! Easy-peasy!

Three unfinished boards that I brown-washed (mix a little water with brown paint) , glued two boards together and then screwed the star hooks (Hobby Lobby $2 each)on to create a nice rustic looking plaque. Lastly, the Ranch sign was done with a wood burning kit that I bought long before I had any idea what I'd ever do with it! I plan to connect them with rope before hanging them on the wall.

Loving our church, loving our community

The state of our church has been on my mind lately. Michael and I stepped down from Kid's Worship this June to pursue a ministry that has been much on our hearts and allows us to also be apart of a Sunday school class which hasn't been possible since we first were married. Our calling to this new ministry began 3 years ago when we had our first year without a Family Fun Night- our Halloween alternative for our church members and community. This was no small outreach by any means! Our whole church banded together. Young and old alike, volunteered their time and put forth a huge effort to love those who would come to our campus - no less than 1000 people each year!

For several reasons this large outreach was cancelled. We and many of our peers were dismayed by the announcement since we had grown up at the church and there had always been a Family Fun Night. It was something we loved and looked forward to each year. Since that time (2007) we have talked often with our friends of bringing that ministry opportunity back but could never realize this...

So began the planting of seeds.

Since then our desires for Northwest Community Church have grown beyond just one outreach opportunity. Our hearts desire more emphasis on the "Community" and we have heard the our elders say much the same from the pulpit. A guest speaker, Dr. Garrison, asked us one Sunday, "What are you doing to reach 85053?" and that question struck me. What are we doing? Does our neighborhood even know we exist??? Do they drive by, completely oblivious of us? I might point out, (forgive me if this is not true of you) that we have become oblivious of them as well.

Since 2007 we have lost a pastor, gained a new one and now just recently sent him off to a new ministry downtown. While we're not without leadership, (we still have several godly men as our elders) our momentum seems to have been hindered. Now, empty seats and the general sleepiness of our church truly could be the result of summertime vacationing (I hope it is!) but I'm concerned that with the recent loss of one well loved pastor there may be disenchantment brooding. I've occasionally fallen victim to this since Kent left, but have realized this week that I belong to a church that is loved and cherished by God, certainly no less now than before. How can I look dolefully upon Her because of the departure of one man? Sure, I may not know who is preaching each Sunday, but I don't go to church to be shocked and awed by a man. I go to worship my God, I go to learn and to serve His people! We fear inviting others into our midst while we are under going change because even we don't know what to expect. But here's what I'm starting to wrap my head around. Should those we invite be won over by our love rather than by a pastor's eloquence?

More than ever, our body, our family, needs to unite and realize our purpose. Our lives are not to be lived for ourselves or our clubs or our friends, but are to be about spread our joy to those who have none. How can we do this unless we look out across 43rd Avenue and Bell Rd.? For those who won't come to us, musn't we go to them? We have a Judea and Samaria to reach and it's a lot closer than we care to acknowledge. Let's be about what we say we're about!

It's Spring!

So in honor of this BE-A-Uuuu-tiful  spring weather, I changed my layout. It's a little louder than what I would normally choose but it looked as happy and cheerful as I feel right now!

We're in Yucaipa, California preparing to celebrate our grandmother's 80th birthday tomorrow with the entire Withem clan! Grandma and Grandpa recently moved into a new home and it is so sweet! It has an airy cottage charm due to it's older style of architecture and Grandma's floral decorations. There are several large windows in every room making it bright and serene in the light of this quiet afternoon. Tomorrow will most likely be crazy due to the massive amounts of family members coming and going but knowing this group it won't matter one bit because we all love spending time together laughing and teasing each other.

On Sunday afternoon we'll be headed to Santa Monica for the afternoon with "Al." She's one of my dear friends from the ranch and it's been years since we've seen each other! I'm hopeful that this trip will include and visit to the beach because isn't that what you ought to do when you're this close to the ocean??? I have no idea what Luke will think of the waves and the sand. It will be interesting to see if he thinks it's funny or if he won't care about anything but getting his hands on some yummy sand.

Well speak of the angel! He's awake and my day must commence! Ta-ta for now!

Turning a page

It's a new day with no mistakes in it! Thank you God for sleep and for a happy morning with both my boys!

Avoid dark colors to disguise your body's shape. All people who know that you gave birth understand your extra weight and lack of muscles' tone, but especially because there is nothing to hide. You have your baby in your arms and this fact is enough to celebrate dressing in bright colors that cheers up your spirit, increasing your well-being.

Ha! I laughed at this when I saw it. Haven't been doing too much laughing the last few days. I feel...low, or maybe melancholy would be the right word. Bright colors don't do much to cheer me up because there doesn't seem to be any bright clothing that fit my big post partum body. I know I need to lose weight and I've known it for a while now. My mom never has any problem jumping on the subject of "my health" and I know it's because she cares about my well-being. But sometimes it just makes me feel beaten up by an overwhelming and unconquerable problem. Yesterday I saw myself in a mirror at the store and saw something truly hideous. I can't believe that I have become that girl.

I've never had super confidant self esteem. I remember thinking I was fat in highschool. Most of my girlfriends wore size 4s and shopped in the junior section whereas I was an 8 and my curves warranted shopping in "Misses". Oh to be an 8 again! It will mostly likely never happen.

So on Resurrection Sunday, where are my thoughts? On the cross, where my savior died? On the tomb that he abandoned when he conquered death? No, my mind is fighting every distraction imaginable. Usually it's only Luke's antics keeping me from giving the message my undivided attention. But today I was noticing the girls in front of me...their hair, their clothes, their skinny legs that could pull off all the cute short dresses designed for the perfect Arizona Springtime.

"It is all vanity!" my common sense screams at me. The truth has been ingrained in my heart so that I might not sin against my Father. I don't wish to be ignorant of His truth but I do wish to end this neverending battle between my favorite passage in 1 Peter and my stupid self-pity. I know better! I just know better than to wallow in defeat! Am I not a daughter of the Most High God? Did He not choose me to receive His inheritance? Did He not die for my sinful self so I would never be seperated from Him? YES! YES! and YES!

And yet, my heart still hurts. I feel unlovable and unwanted. Michael certainly is not a source of this pain. He never fails to love me or show me that he does desire me, "the wife of his youth." So it must be me. It must be this idol that beats me down as I lift it up.

It helps to write this out. It helps to use "pen and paper" to sort out my thoughts. This has been a jumble of emotion stirring in my heart, yearning to be let loose. Here it has been released, without any pain to anyone but myself as I realize my own depravity and shallowness. I am relieved that my Savior rose from the grave. He has redeemed even me and I want so desperately to feel Him hold me in His arms and tell me that I'm loved and worth the pain. I know He tells me He loves me in every blessing I see in life. My beautiful son. My husband who tenderly cares for me. My parents who are now my best friends after years of bitterness and anger. The list goes on. I am blessed and I am of value.

Sorry for the ranting for whoever it is that might read this. I needed to get to this conclusion. If you stuck with me through the worst of the above,... thanks.

My Projects!

Maybe someday we'll be like Shannon at Shannon Makes Stuff or Disney at ~Ruffles And Stuff~ . But for now, it's just little ol' me trying to be creative and, hopefully, make our home a beautiful place of comfort and rest. Here are my projects that I'm working on!

My square foot garden: Green Beans, Pole Beans, Cilantro, Rosemary, Peppers, Watermelon, Radishes and Lettuce.

See, my lettuce is already sprouting!!!

I found these during bulk trash week and thought I might be able to use them for something around the house! I'm thinkin' I'm going to use 4 of them for coffee table legs and design a top with rounded edges so that it's as KB proofed as possible. :-)

Any ideas for the remaining two legs?

Well-p! That's what's on my to do list! There are so many ideas milling around in this head of mine that I have to take a step away from my craft desk every now and then and sort through them all. What's actually do-able? What is cute in other people's homes? Would it fit in ours? Etc.

*Happy Sigh*

We're so blessed to have such amazing friends! Yes, that's you!

Snail Mail

Isn't it interesting what joy or pain can be experienced just by receiving a letter in the mail? A baby's been born, someone is getting married, a friend decided to write just out of the blue.Then there's the opposite end of the spectrum: Dear John, I don't love you anymore, you owe $300 for that purse you bought at Macy's, the power bill for May is $490, foreclosure is imminent, etc... It seems that the negative outweighs the pleasant in the case of snail mail these days.

For us, yesterday brought a stern, "Pay this ridiculous amount by the 7th or else!" from our bank that carries the mortgage on our home. Well, obvioulsy those weren't the exact words...  but it's pretty dern close! I can't begin to describe my overwhelming feeling of helplessness. My first response to news such as this is, "where could I get a job?" and then following right on its heels is the heart-stabbing realization that that would mean being away from Luke all day long. There have been some days where I felt as though I would welcome the opportunity to get away from my mommy-duties for a while but I know that's the exhaustion talking. My more coherent moments, when I think of the things I would miss, tell me that the seperation would be more painful than I can imagine. Could I really do it? Miss his smiles and laughs throughout the day? Miss opening my eyes to him smiling at me first thing in the morning and then snuggling on the couch as we both wake up. Miss our morning walks? The precious moments after he wakes up from his naps and needs me? Miss nursing him and seeing how he feels so safe in my arms, so secure because Mommy's got him?

I truly thank God that the cost of childcare (ughhh!) would pretty much negate whatever income I made. I also thank God for laying down just another opportunity for me to learn to trust Him. Michael is working hard and work is forever on the horizon. Not far off, just always beyond our reach and I've wondered if God will ever allow us to have more than we need? Besides relliance on Him, is there another lesson to be learned here?

 Despite the never-ending questions, my fears, just one day later, have been completely silenced and He has shown through love from our church, that we've never fallen off of his radar. There is no "Oops! Guess I forgot to watch the Withem's over there." as if we were a kettle of boiling water about to spill over. No, not my Savior! He is near. He cares. He loves. He provides. And my soul is at rest in Him. For now, I am content to be vulnerable and cling to my Almighty God, knowing that He is, and always will be, enough.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."                                                

                                                                                                  1 Peter 5:6-10

KB the Baby

"Life with a Kidney Bean?" you may ask. Yes! The Kidney Bean or "KB" for short is our 6 month old son Luke. I was one of the thousands of preggos who joined babycenter.com to track the developement of our baby in utero. During the first trimester, I was driving with my dad across town to pick up a surprise birthday gift for my hubby Michael and remarked "It's amazing something the size of a kidney bean could make me feel so nauseated!" From that moment on, my dad decided to call Luke, KB the Baby. We hadn't picked out a name yet and it was nice to call the unknown gendered baby something besides "it" and "he or she."

Fast forward 6 months and you'll see that we've adapted well to having a fifth member of our immediate family. (The third and fourth members being our cat Obiwan and Aussie, Chloe) He's a happy, mellow boy and the delight of our lives. No longer do we require any outside entertainment because we have Luke! My parents are especially involved in his life because they only live a few miles away and all the other grandkids live out of state. That's certainly not to say that Michael's parents are slacking in the spoiling department. They are just about as crazy for Luke as my folks are.

Michael and I are both self-employed. I'm an LMT and Michael owns Fusion Web Technologies working to design websites for small businesses and PC repair. On the side we lead a kid's worship band for the 1st-6th graders at our church. Our goal: To teach the kids to love the old hymns and worship songs that we've spiced up(if you know that age group at all, you'd know that the original version of "The Old Rugged Cross" would keep their attention for a grand total of 2 seconds). Besides that we enjoy playing board games with friends, walking around the beautiful outdoor malls here in the valley, and have our dates walking around HomeDepot or Lowes following dinner our favorite chinese food place.

So that's us in a nutshell! My goal for this blog is to keep up to speed with Luke's milestones and to trade decorating/ craft ideas with other gals who are on a budget like me! My favorite new website is dollarstorecrafts.com. Lots of cute ideas from other moms with similar times and monetary restraints plus, they usually include links to their own blogs which opens up a slew of fun sites and ideas to pursue! As much as I would love to drone on and on, Luke is ready to get some lovin' and teething tablets. So "ta-ta for now" as my grandmother would say in an effort not to say something as final as "goodbye." Until we blog again!